Season over

Tonight I was sitting by the lake while the kids took an after dinner swim. I watched a family with 3 kids wading in the water. The littlest one was maybe 18 months old and was still pretty wobbly on his feet. His mom and dad walked behind him and grabbed his hand periodically so he wouldn't fall, holding his hand more often at first.  They weren't hovering (because I dislike that word), they were just there to catch him if he fell, to offer a hand for support when a wave came, and threw a smile and a clap his way when he looked up for praise and encouragement at his new found adventure. I say they weren't hovering (even though they were) because to me a hovering parent doesn't let their kids experience the feel of the dirt for fear of dirt. A hovering parent doesn't let their kid out swimming past bed time. A hovering parent panics when the child falls, instead of just calmly reaching out a hand to hold and help up.   A hovering parent only allows swimming in a pool with chlorine for fear of.....I don't know, sharks?

Anyway, of course, you know me...I couldn't help but start to tear up.
That season of parenting is over for me.
I can sit on the shore and watch the kids play from a distance. I can even decide to jump in on my own floatie if I want to.

Gone are the days when I felt the need to hover behind, ready to rescue. Gone are the days I had to stand up and walk behind the kids to keep them from eating the dirt, to keep them from throwing rocks and hitting someone accidentally,  to keep them from drowning. Gone are the days when I could never relax at the beach.

When they were that little I remember thinking...gosh I wish I could just sit and relax.

But as tears started to well up, I realized that season led me to this one. One where my kids love the water and love to experience life and are okay with me "hovering", but from a distance.

This season I still get a yell from the water saying, "Hey mom, watch this!!!"

I will never forget the chubby legs, the go go go, the when is it my turn to relax days.

Those days led me to these days of independence,  of attitude,  and of real conversation.

That season is over.  This one has just begun. I will still be there to hold their hand when they'll let me, to support them when the waves of life come, and to clap and smile when they look to me for praise and encouragement.  This season, I am just standing further in the distance.