To my former chunky self from my presently chunky self.

GOD forbid I tell you what to do or say, but:

What not to say to someone who is clearly overweight:

1. Don't complain about how fat you are to someone who is clearly, well...fat.
If the doctor says you are overweight, then try to lose weight, but don't talk about how fat you are to someone who is clearly quite fatter than you are. 

2. Don't suggest they get some exercise, unless the topic comes up. Then, tell them you would love to meet them for a game of tennis or Zumba or something fun.  People who are overweight already know they should move more.

3. Overweight people know they are overweight.  Most are self conscious about this.  It's like we are wearing our "issues" for all to see.  But, realize this: you have issues too. They just aren't as visible.  Have compassion and a ready smile and encouragement if the topic of losing weight comes up.

4. If I lose weight, please notice and tell me I look great, but not because of the pounds but because I am beautiful no matter how much I weigh. 

5. If I have clearly gained weight since the last time I saw you, don't just say nothing about my appearance,  just hug me a say that you missed seeing my face or that you love my cute shoes.

6. Don't give me clothes as a gift.  They won't fit.  You will either go too big or too small, and either or is awkward.  Don't give me food either.  Give me the gift of your presence, and anything else.

7. Know that no matter what you say to "encourage" or push me to lose weight, that I have to want it bad enough to do it on my own, not because you suggested it.  Do not attempt to be my personal trainer, nutritionist, or life coach,  unless I am paying you or I ask for advice.

8. Please don't judge me.  I have a million things I am doing with my life.  I am not lazy just because I am overweight. I am overweight for many reasons.  Mostly, it's because I haven't found the motivation or what works yet.  When I want it bad enough, I will make it happen.

9. Don't get your panties in a bunch with this set of rules. It's just true.  If you care about your overweight loved one, you will try to be considerate and loving and speak in ways that help rather than pressure or hurt. 

This is the list I will refer to and look back on when I am no longer overweight. My time will come, with effort and strong will.