Benjamin last but not least.
I think I have a special connection to this boy we call Benjamin. I have a special bond with each of my children and it's not a better bond with one or the others it's just different. As Ben turned five years old today I was thinking about our bond. I was thinking about how he came to be and how WE came to be.
I always wanted children. In fact, I wanted an even number. I wanted either two, four or even six. I never wanted any of my children to feel left out. I didn't want a "middle" child syndrome. So we went about trying for our two. Two was the number we decided was more realistic for our family when it came to paying for college and raising a family over the poverty level.
Call me selfish but after going through that car accident being pregnant with Kamryn and having her only to not be able to take care of her on my own for months after, I wanted to try again and reclaim my "mommyhood".
Some people look at the fact that we have two girls and then a boy. I can't tell you how many times I've heard..."Third times a charm, huh?" from strangers thinking we had another in hopes of having a boy.
Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to have children. Somehow I didn't feel done. I felt like I deserved another chance. Perhaps it's not the best reason. Maybe wanting a boy is a better reason to have a child than for the sole reason that I felt jipped out of walking around the mall with my new born baby, stopping to nurse when she got hungry, being able to walk her back and forth when she got fussy. Sounds trivial but I was robbed of that simple act of being able to walk around with my baby. I guess I wanted to walk around with a baby again.
But, Benjamin came along and rocked our world. He was a gift from God, no doubt.
All three of my children are gifts with a purpose. Fitting to think about children as a gift around this Christmas season.
I always wanted children. In fact, I wanted an even number. I wanted either two, four or even six. I never wanted any of my children to feel left out. I didn't want a "middle" child syndrome. So we went about trying for our two. Two was the number we decided was more realistic for our family when it came to paying for college and raising a family over the poverty level.
Call me selfish but after going through that car accident being pregnant with Kamryn and having her only to not be able to take care of her on my own for months after, I wanted to try again and reclaim my "mommyhood".
Some people look at the fact that we have two girls and then a boy. I can't tell you how many times I've heard..."Third times a charm, huh?" from strangers thinking we had another in hopes of having a boy.
Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to have children. Somehow I didn't feel done. I felt like I deserved another chance. Perhaps it's not the best reason. Maybe wanting a boy is a better reason to have a child than for the sole reason that I felt jipped out of walking around the mall with my new born baby, stopping to nurse when she got hungry, being able to walk her back and forth when she got fussy. Sounds trivial but I was robbed of that simple act of being able to walk around with my baby. I guess I wanted to walk around with a baby again.
But, Benjamin came along and rocked our world. He was a gift from God, no doubt.
All three of my children are gifts with a purpose. Fitting to think about children as a gift around this Christmas season.
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